Region- Beta Paradox

Get Over It Already

By Charlie Melton

The year is 1973. I’m driving through Atlanta. This guy cuts me off on I-75. I honk and he gives me the finger. I remember it like it was yesterday.

The little things that bother us never seem to go away. I remember every time someone stole my parking place and each time still bothers me. I have a dose of OCD, which doesn’t help with my inability to let things go. If you want to be remembered, just do something rude to me and I’ll never forget.

I have less trouble forgiving the big things. I once had my wallet stolen along with every cent I had in the world. I not only resolved the situation, but I was able to forgive the thief. I rationalized his motives and got past it.

None of that ever made sense, unless I’m just a psychological mess. OK, I probably am a mess, but there is a reason I’m like this. It’s called “Region-Beta Paradox”.  The way I understand it, we have psychological mechanisms to deal with severe trauma and stress. We don’t have mechanisms to deal with minor irritants, so the little things actually bother us longer than the big things. It may make sense if we look at it in a different way.

Let’s say you get a paper cut. It bleeds a little and is sore. You suck it up and deal with it. You don’t bother cleaning it and don’t put a band aid on it. It still bothers you days later. It may get infected. It limits some activities and generally nags at you for a while. It takes forever to heal.

Now let’s say you get a severe cut. It’s bad, so you go to the emergency room. You get it cleaned up. You end up with 5 stitches and a bandage. You take prescribed antibiotics. In a couple of days you’re back up to speed. “Region-Beta Paradox” explains the difference in the two processes.

How about another example? You live on West Main Street. You walk down to the Cardinal to get some pie. It takes you 15 minutes. Later you decide to go to Wal-Mart. Its 10 miles away, so you get in the car. You arrive in 12 minutes. It takes you less time to go further because you chose the mode to fit the situation. That’s “Region-Beta Paradox”.

Why do we care? This knowledge can help us in our daily lives. We know that our spouses get really irritated when we leave our smelly socks in the middle of the floor. That’s because it’s so minor the wife can’t get over it. The same thing goes for not putting the toilet seat down. It’s minor enough that she can’t get past it. If you understand the paradox, you know that if you do something major, she’ll get over it. That being said, I guess if you take your wife’s sister dancing, she’ll forget all about it sooner than she’ll forget about your socks in the floor.

You know how much you’ll suffer if you’re late for dinner or your Mother-in-laws funeral. Maybe it would be better for everyone concerned if you didn’t show up at all for a few weeks. By understanding the paradox, you can see how much nicer it’ll be if instead of being late you don’t show at all. Your significant other will undoubtedly use all available resources to calm the waters stirred by your absence. It’s a win-win situation.

If you try these things, remember that your results may vary. You could say that “objects in the mirror may be larger than they appear to be”. The psychological mechanism your wife may use to get over you going on a date with her sister could involve attorneys and court appearances. You may find it’ll lead to alimony, which is one of those irritants that never heal.

There is also a possibility that not showing up at home for a few weeks will result in her having another man leaving his socks on your floor. In that case, you may find it severe enough that you work to get over it quickly.

It is a paradox, indeed.