I Forgot to Remember

By Charlie Melton

I sit down on the loveseat and turn on the TV for some midday viewing. I notice the seat doesn’t feel right.

I turn the loveseat over and see a spring is broken. I can fix that with some wire. I think I have some in the junk drawer in the kitchen.
I go into the kitchen and open the drawer. What a mess. I start digging through it hoping to find some wire.

I start emptying the disaster of a drawer. I toss nasty wooden skewers in the trash. Odd paperwork goes into a zip-lock. Odd change goes in the piggy bank. I scrape the hundreds of screws and bolts into a jar, and I’m done. The drawer looks fabulous. I make a sandwich and go back to the living room.

Wait, the loveseat is upside down. What happened in here? Then I remember I went in the kitchen to get wire to use in a repair. It’s a good thing I’m home alone. Nobody will ever know that I forgot what I was doing.

A faulty memory is a scary thing. Every lapse brings a little thought that this is the sign that we’re losing our minds. For me, it’s a harbinger of eventual inability to control my mind. I picture myself wandering aimlessly around town in my bathrobe unable to remember where I live.

Have I told you this before? I don’t remember.

I don’t know about anybody else, but the eventual loss of control of my faculties scares the heck out of me. I’m a well documented control freak and I often say I won’t ride a roller coaster because they won’t let me drive. Control issues also have made my work life what you could call “chaotic”. It’s the same issue with impending memory problems. They mean I won’t have control.

I really became concerned when I overheard an Alzheimer’s patient doing an oral test to determine his level of dementia. He was asked several basic questions about the year, where he was, the name of the President, and other simple things. He got a higher score than I did.

Being a control freak with a big fear of not being able to control my mind or memory I work to overcome or delay impending dementia. The internet is full of techniques to improve mental agility and memory. I’ve probably tried them all at one time or another.

First up is nutrition. Reportedly if you eat certain things your memory will stay and even get better.

Certain oils like olive oil, coconut oil, and fish oil helps the brain. I didn’t notice my memory getting better when I ate the oils, but my bowels noticed the oil intake and kept me well informed.

If you eat lots of berries, nuts, and seeds your memory will improve. Those worked well because I definitely remember they were very tasty in the cakes and pies I put them in.

Certain foods reportedly harm memory. Two of these are coffee and sugar. Let’s just forget about them.

Next, mental exercise is supposed to help the brain. This method is more to my liking.

Reading is good for you. I kind of dig reading, so I do all I can get away with. Recently, I even started reading instruction manuals for items I buy. It helps my brain and keeps me from breaking any more new appliances.

Puzzles and games are good for your mental agility. Crossword puzzles and Sudoku are good. Chess is a good game you can get for free and play on a computer or smart phone. It helps you think systematically. In chess you have to think several moves ahead, which for me is the mental equivalent of running a marathon.

My wife plays those games where you have to find microscopic things in a hodge-podge of unrelated scenery. She’s very good at it, and it must help. She remembers everything I ever did to make her mad.

I try to stave off the imminent loss of faculties, but what if it sneaks up on me? I work in a nursing home. To be honest, I think I work in a nursing home. I could be a resident in a nursing home. I learned a little technique from a family member. It helps me know the difference.

Every day when I get ready to leave work I check to see if I have my car keys in my pocket. If they are, I work there. If they’re not, I no longer drive because I’m a resident. This works for me, except for the day I left my keys on my desk. I had a few minutes of panic until I located them, but I’m good now.

Oh, and don’t ask to borrow my keys. You’re not getting them. I will play chess with you, though.